


Do you see how in love with you I am?

by ipanicked



Category: Good Game (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hugging, Implied Smut, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 16:55:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19255312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ipanicked/pseuds/ipanicked
Summary: Alex finally tells Ryland the truth.





	Do you see how in love with you I am?

The same words echo in Ryland's head.

_"You broke my luminous spirit, by ignoring my feelings, pushing away my hard work, and resenting my love for you!"_

He's still confused as to why Alex looked at _him_ when he said the last part. Had he been rude to him lately? Not that he can recall, nothing that was out of the ordinary.

He also remembers that look Alex gave him when he was talking to Ash. He was just.. _staring_. He had a frown and just looked..sad, almost like he was gonna cry. However, as soon as he saw that Ryland met his gaze, he quickly turned, grin returning, and started chanted 'Blood Match'. It was almost as if it never happened.

Ryland stares at his ceiling, laying on his back on his uncomfortable, lumpy mattress. He tried to sleep but Alex's voice continues to yell at him, even though the man was in the other room, most likely passed out.

Ryland finally couldn't take it, he got out of bed, shoved some basketball shorts on, and quietly made his way to the bathroom across the hall. Hopefully once he splashed his face with water he'll feel better.

Once he reaches the bathroom door he finds a yellow sticky note stuck to it. He peels it off and looks at it.

Alex's unmistakable and awful handwriting is written in black Sharpie. He can only read it because he's lived with him for so long. Practice makes perfect as they say.

_'Went out for a bit. Be back later. - Alex'_

Ryland studies the note. There's no heart or P.S. note like they're normally is..

Ryland walks into the living room and shoves the note into his gym shorts pocket. He surveys the room, the lights are out, even the ones Alex keeps on when he sleeps. His make-shift bed is also untouched. Well, actually it's not even a bed at the moment, its still the couch they sit on while Alex gets high and Ryland plays games. Alex didn't even bother removing the cushions or pulling it out.

Ryland feels himself growing nervous. Alex hasn't just up and went like this in a long, long time. Not since he first moved in. He usually leaves at least six somewhat drunk voicemails or even texts.

Ryland pulls out his phone and searches through his contacts. Finding Alex's name isn't exactly difficult considering that his name starts with A and Ryland doesn't have many numbers saved to his phone.

Ryland clicks his name and holds the phone of to his ear.

_*Ring*_

_*Ring*_

_*Ring*_

_'Hey, it's Alex! Sorry I couldn't get to your call, I'm probably hanging with my best bud!'_

Ryland hears his own deadpan tone.

_'Alex no,'_

_'Anyways, leave me a message and I'll try and call back, thanks! Bye.'_

Ryland remembers that day. The day Alex asked him for help with his voicemail. He was surprised he didn't already have one set up but then he remembered that Alex wasn't excatly the smartest when it came to electronics.

_'Please Ry, please, please, please!!'_

Ryland watched the screen as the character crumbled with a sword in her chest. Ryland sighed and put his Xbox controller on the coffee table next to Alex's half empty beer bottle.

_'Why do you even need a voicemail?'_

_'Its nice to have one Ry! That way people can leave messages so you know why they called.'_

Ryland shook his head but stuck his hand out. _'Hand me your phone.'_

Alex fished the device out of his pocket And plopped it in the other man's hand.

Ryland takes a minute to set it up. Once he's done he hands the phone back to Alex.

_'Press and hold that button when you're ready to say something.'_

Alex looks at the TV and thbiks for sec while Ryland starts his game back up.

Alex taps the button and starts to speak.

_'Hey, it's Alex! Sorry I couldn't get to your call, I'm probably hanging with my best bud!'_

He throws an arm over Ryland's shoulder as he's trying to defeat a boss.

_'Alex no,'_

Alex removes his arm.

_'Anyways, leave me a message and I'll try and call back, thanks! Bye.'_

Alex saves the voicemail and quickly wraps his arms around Ryland's neck.

_'Thanks Ry-Ry.'_

The phone beeps and drags Ryland out of his memories.

"...Uhh, Hey! It's um Ryland. Just checking in to see if you're okay...call me back, okay bye."

He ends the call and looks at the phone. He hopes he's okay.

About an hour passes and he's about to text him when he hears the front door softly creak. He looks up and sees a wild mane of dark chocolate curls.

Ryland gets up from the arm of the couch and is about to approach him when he sees that he's been crying. For how long, who knows.

Alex doesn't noticed Ryland, too caught up in his own head to truly notice his surroundings. He sets his bag on the kitchen table and grips the back of a wooden chair.

Suddenly he clasps a hand around his mouth but a choked noise makes it's way out. Alex leans forward, almost crumpling or folding in on himself. His shoulders shake and his back rises and falls with his irregular breathing.

Ryland watches in horror, frozen in place. He wants to walk up to him, talk to him, hug him, comfort him, anything but just stand here and watch as his best friend sobs his heart out.

Alex turns around and stumbles into the bathroom, still not seeing his roommate.

Ryland finally regains control of his legs and walks over to the bathroom door.

He hears water splashing and Alex whimpering softly. His heart twists. What could have happened to make him this upset?

The door quietly swings open and Alex walks out, almost crashing into Ryland's chest. He backs up, surprised but quickly recovering.

"Hey Ry" He has a huge grin on his face and a 'I totally just woke up and haven't been crying for god knows how long' voice. If Ryland didn't find out he was missing he would have been convinced. Which is kind of upsetting.

Ryland decides to just be blunt. 

"What's wrong?"

Alex's smile falters slightly, he cocks his head to the side. 

"What?" 

Ryland reaches in his pocket and pulls out the crumpled, yellow post-it note. He holds it up for the older man to see. 

"Oh..I just went out for a beer run, I'm fine." 

Ryland cocks an eyebrow and folds his arms across his chest.

"Oh yeah? Then how come not even five minutes ago you were crying at the kitchen table like your dog just got ran over?"

Alex flinches just slightly. "I..I.." 

"You didn't call, text, nothing..Jesus Alex I was so worried." 

Alex has to bite his lip to keep himself from scoffing. 

Ryland comes closer. 

"What's wrong?" 

Alex shakes his head.

"I'm fine, quit asking." 

He walks quickly past Ryland and makes his way towards the couch. 

"Alex-"

"It's nothing, just some stress, I just need to sleep, I'll be fine in the morning." 

Ryland looks over and grimaces. He really wasn't the type to push. For all he knew Alex could be right, it could just be stress. He was teaching a team of adults, excluding Kamal of course, who acted like children at their best. 

Alex starts taking apart the couch, making his bed. 

Ryland turns around and walks to his room, he places his hand on the knob but hesitates. 

"Alex?" 

He looks up at Ryland, orange couch cushion in hand. 

Ryland swallows.

_"I love you"_

That was it. That's all it took. Alex lost all his built up composure and cried as he looked at Ryland. He drops the cushion, letting it collide with the floor. Soft whimpers and sobs escaped his lips as he choked and gasped for air. 

Ryland quickly ran over to Alex and wrapped his arms around him, devouring him in a hug.

Ryland lips gently glide against Alex's ear as he whispers. "Tell me. Tell me how I can make it better." 

Alex shudders. "You can't. You can't because you _don't_." His voice comes out so small and quiet that Ryland almost doesn't hear him. 

Ryland holds on tighter. "Don't what?" 

Alex grits his teeth and grips Ryland's t-shirt, scrunching the soft fabric between is fingers, making it destined to become wrinkled. 

"You don't love me." 

Ryland almost scoffs, but holds it since Alex apparently isn't done. Words start flooding out his mouth, as if he's unable to stop them. 

"Not the way I want you to. I love you Ry, so much, I wanna be with you. I wanna be able to kiss you or hug you a-and you actually return it. I wanna sleep with you, and cuddle you. I just want you to be mine, I thought at first that's what you wanted to, I thought you w-were better at hiding it or s-something. I tried to be more affectionate, tried to be more touchy or flirty but you just seemed to get annoyed. And then you kept looking at _her_...I've always wanted you to look at me like that, the way you look at Ash. You might not know this Ry, but you l-look at her like you f-fucking.. _love_ her.." 

Alex starts sobbing so hard he can't form words anymore. Ryland is speechless. He never actually thought that Alex would like him back, never thought he actually felt that way. Ryland also couldn't beilve the shit he said about Ash. I mean sure, he thought she was cute, but he didn't really like her like that. At the least, _love_ her. Hell, he's known Alex for almost a _decade_ now. He's only known Ash for little under a _year_. How in God's name did he think that he was in _love_ with her?

More words escaped Alex's mouth. Most of them about how he was so afraid that Ryland would've kicked him out if he confessed, or how he always feared that he and Ash were hooking up whenever they went to bars together. 

Now that was just ridiculous. Whenever they go out it's literally just to talk. They get a few drinks, Ash getting completely hammered while Ryland settles on a beer or two, and talk about their problems. Then Ryland drives Ash home, goes to pick up takeout or fast food for him and Alex, and drives back to the apartment. 

Ryland didn't know how to rationally calm Alex down, so instead he let his impulse take over. He backs up just a smidge from the hug, cups Alex's face, and leans in. Alex stops talking, eyes wide, as Ryland guides the kiss. He slowly pulls away. 

"Alex, I want to be with you. I _love_ you." 

Alex looks like he's in shock. "R-really?" 

Ryland nods and smiles. Alex returns the smile, more tears dripping down his cheeks as relief fills his body. 

"Wanna be my boyfriend?" Ryland asks with a grin. 

Alex throws his arms around Ryland's neck and practically jumps on him. 

"Yes!!" He replies with a huge grin. 

Ryland kisses his cheeks. 

"Let's go to bed." He takes Alex's hand and leads him into the bedroom. Except, as the night goes on, they find themselves doing everything but sleeping. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by the song Please Notice by Christian Leave.  
> Thanks for reading, if you like this or want more, leave comments or kudos :)


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